Save the Women!


Human rights commission seeks divorce for 12 year old girl

Posted in child abuse,child bride,Islam,politics,religion,Saudi Arabia,The Evil that Men do,women by Save the Women! on February 8, 2010

The story:

A saudi man sells his twelve young little daughter to an 80 year old pedophile cousin. The girls mother tries to save her little girl and starts a lawsuit. After the second hearing she suddenly withdraws, and the girl also seems to give in to her horrible fate.
Now I can only imagine what horrible threats and blackmail has been levied at the girl and her mother to make them give in. But now, for the first time the saudi human rights commission intervenes into what is, and has always been, regarded as a ”family affair”. The saudi  human rights commission has filed for the divorce of the twelve year old girl.

Is this Islam?

These unequal marriages are not unusual in the kingdom. This girls family comes from the conservative Part of saudi arabia, the area near Riyad.  A conservative town called buraidah.
With ”conservative” I mean even more conservative.
She was sold by her father for the price of 85.000 Riyals. Sold because he kept the money for himself. In Islam the dowry is a payment for sexual access, and should be the property of the woman absolutely. In Islam fathers or husbands or brothers cannot touch a woman’s property. But in real practise of Islam this is dfferent.

The child herself has no say in the matter. The mother has no rights, so cannot stop it. In Islam a marriage can only be made with the consent of the woman. It is clear this little girl does not want to be married to the octogenarian. But her opinion carries no weight.

So no. This is not a marriage which should be sanctioned under Islam.

The media

The saudi media, and in result the world press, are reporting this case. These cases are being reported in the media more and more. This is fairly recent. This is very important. This means that some of the men high up allow this to be reported.
This is really important: the men in power allow this to be reported so may be, there is finally going to be some change.

The saudi people

This also reflects that many saudi people are against these practises. Family affairs are considered extremely private in the kingdom, but the saudi people do not want these unequal matches so much: that the unwritten rule of absolute silence in these matters is being broken.
Saudi people will sacrifice a lot to the cause of the just. There are many activists who risk imprisonement  for the cause of helping those in need.

I am feeling optimistic:

things are getting better. Let’s hope this girl will get her freedom back. Let’s hope she will get an education and a future. Let’s hope she will get a good husband who is not only good but also of a reasonable matching age.

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15 Responses to 'Human rights commission seeks divorce for 12 year old girl'

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  1. wafa said,

    nothing bothers me than this story. it’s so unfortunte. i was molested when i was her age for a brief time and it still hunts me and i keep wondering what would happen to this baby being molested her whole life cuz that is what it calls: rape and molestation not marriage. marriage is much more sacred than this. Damned our society who instead of giving children toys, it gives them as toys.

    • aerinndis said,

      Wafa, Salaam, Thank you for sharing your opinion.
      There is no excuse for molesting children. All children who have been molested have to deal with that for the rest of their life. And I will never believe this pedophile will wait until her menses, after all, he is too old: he will snuff it any moment!

      At least she won’t be molested all her life, he won’t live for many years. But she will be used goods and worthless and with no education and no money, and the history of abuse her future is very dark indeed.

      • supriya said,

        it is so unfortunate that such people exist in the world…the people in todays time can be so barbaric………i hope the human rights mission adopts this girl for her treatment and education.

      • aerinndis said,

        This girl hs been resqued. But it is a very rare happening. There are scores of small girls who loose any hope of future, education, and even loose theit lives.

  2. kasia said,

    what do you mean by dowry in islam being a payment for sexual access? it surely must be about something else (i’m being hopeful here). is it written in the qur’an or hadiths? or is the social perception of a dowry? thank you!


  3. Kasia, officially people will state that mahr is an expression of the husband of his love and appreciation of his to be bride.

    In sharia law you will see it is different. I am sorry but Mahr (or faridah) is indeed money paid for sexual acces.
    In case the wife asks for divorce she will also have to pay back the mahr, even though sex has taken place. Officially this should not be but in reality sharia courts will demand it. If they grant divorce to a woman at all.
    Divorced muslim women will also loose their children to the father always. They are property of the father.
    Also the father has to pay no maintenance for a divorced wife except the three months after divorce. These three months are to see if the woman is not pregnant. If she is she will have to give that child to the father also.
    It seems to be expected that the woman will then be able to sell herself again for board and upkeep to another man.

    If she does not manage to attract another man and she has no family willing to look after her she will have nothing.
    The word niqah means only ”marriage” in the marriage document. In all other use of the word in arabic language it means ”penetration”

    The fact that Mahr is meant as money paid for sex follows from the following:
    – there should be no sex until the promised mahr has been paid fully, although some modern women ask for only part of their mahr, the rest to be paid in case of divorce.
    Don’t forget that her mahr is the only provision a wife will have in case of divorce.
    -Although some scholars say that the mahr should be paid after consummation.
    -In case of death before consummation the widow will have to give back half the mahr to the family of the diseased husband.
    -In case of no consummation her guardian can also forgive all the mahr
    -It is haram to enjoy relations with a wife and then deny her the mahr when she demands (sounds very much like sex for money doesn’t it?)

    One author of the Hanafi School defines the mahr as “the money, which is obligatory on the husband in ikd al-nikah (the marriage contract) for manafi’ al-bid’ (sexual pleasure). (See ibn al-Hamam, Sharih Fath al-Qadeer, vol. 3, p. 304, Arabic version).

    The Hanbali School of jurisprudence defines mahr as “the money paid by the husband for the purpose of nikah (marriage). (See ibn Kadamah, Al-Mughni, vol. 6, p. 679, Arabic version).

    The Malike and Shafi’i Schools defines the mahr as “the money due to the future wife in return for [the husband’s] haqq al-isstimta’ (sexual pleasure) in the marriage contract”. (See al-Hattab Muhammad bin Abdel Rahman al-Mughrabi, Mawahib al-Jalil li-Sharh Mukhtassar Khalil, vol. 5, p. 172-Maliki Jurisprudence). For Shafi’i School see al-Nawawi, Kitab al-Majmu’, vol. 18 p. 605). All these references are cited by Sheikh Mahmud Muhammad al-Sheikh, Al-Mahr fi Al-Islam bayna al-madi wal-hadir, published by al-Maktaba al-Assriyya liltibaa’a wal nashr, Beirut, Lebanon, 2003, Arabic version.
    The Maliki and Shafi’i Schools of jurisprudence regard the mahr as “the money paid for the future wife in return for sexual pleasure is an integral part of the Islamic marriage contract and its source is prescribed in the Qur’an

    The Maliki School regards a marriage to be legal if it was consummated. If the marriage was not consummated, then the marriage is mafsookh (a reason for separation); if he divorces his wife without any agreement on the mahr issue, then he has to pay her mut’ah (money paid to her in return for the sexual pleasure he had with her). But if he dies before any agreement reached between the couple, then the wife is entitled to inherit her share from his estate.

  4. kasia said,

    :O OMG! this is basically like buyer-seller relationship!

    I can’t believe it!

    it does say in wikipedia that: The agreed bride price is generally intended to reflect the perceived value of the girl or young woman.

    this means that nothing has changed since centuries ago and women are still perceived as commodity.

    thank you for explaining that to me! for now I have to go and pick myself up from the floor, my jaw in particular.

    thank you!

    btw – I love your blog and your husband seems like a normal, sensible guy 🙂 best wishes to your both!


    • Yes, I did not mention that but a virgin is worth far more as a non-virgin. Light skinned women are worth more then dark skinned women. Also women after 25 are seen as hopeless old maids, and women after forty are not worth anything.
      Moreover: In Saudi Arabia it will be very difficult to find a husband as a divorced wife or a widow, even when only 16 or 17 years old.
      This can easily happen when very old men marry prepubescent girls and die after 3 or 4 years. Leaving a worthless 16 year old widow to live of her family or on the street.
      The men want virgins.
      Such women will have to agree to be second or third or fourth wives,.. Or even only a misyaar wife.
      A misyaar wife has all the duties of a full wife but no rights. Not for housing or maintenance. She is paid a mahr for sexual services. It’s like an oldfashioned maîtresse-contract.

      The situation for women in saudi is very difficult if they don’t have a family who want to pay for her, and if they don’t have a job. There are virtually no jobs for women in saudi. And the jobs which are allowed for women are mainly teacher and doctor. A woman who is not educated has no chance of finding a job. Also a woman cannot transport herself to a job. She needs to make a lot of money to pay for drivers and have something left to live on.
      The only choice open to the majority of women is to get some maintenance from a man in exchange for sexual favors.
      The way I see it saudi society and mentality makes slaves out of women who have to pay for maintenance with sex.
      This has it’s roots in the islamic teachings.

      My husband is a very rare saudi man. He is exceptionally intelligent. He is not brainwashed by religion. very rare.

  5. kasia said,

    but I’m sure that when some people enter marriage they must have hopes for love? or at least companionship?

    they can’t be all the same!

    this is probably a ‘princess treatment’ i’ve heard about from someone close to me… just didn’t know what this enigmatic phrase meant…
    the thing is that it might be just cultural practice?

    it’s just hard to agree that this constitutes elevation of women!
    I’m sorry to bother you but if you found time I would be interested to hear your take on Qur’an 4:34

    Men are protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of the excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands) and guard in the husband’s absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband’s property). As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first)…

    Apparently the word in arabic that is translated as ‘excel’ doesn’t mean it or carry other meaning. So I was just thinking maybe your very clever and unbiased husband could shed some light?
    In this particular translation, in my personal opinion, it implies that men have authority over women, and are just this one level higher.
    This verse of Qur’an is something I simply cannot get over with! You see I was thinking about converting, some parts of Islam I think are beautiful but I cannot put myself at a disadvantage from the very beginning. I don’t know why I cling to this idea so much… very lost in life these days 😉

    apologies for an off-topic comment, hope you don’t mind:)
    thanks for a reply 🙂 have a good day!


  6. Dear Kasia, There is one thing you really need to know before making a decision. The beautiful parts in the Quran are the early parts written in Maccah, when Mohammed was in a weak position, living in a city with multiple religions where he had to be nice.
    When he lived in Medina he had power and the religion became more complicated.
    If you want to move to Islam, make sure you read the Quran in it’s chronological order. You should realise that the nice parts are obrigated by the not so nice parts which came later. You see any later sura supercedes any earlier one if they are contradicting each other.
    This actually means that only about 40% in teh Quran is valid, and those are not the nice parts.

    Sura al Nisaa was written in Medina.
    What this verse means is that:
    men have the money.
    men have the God-given capabillities to be the leaders over women.
    women are inferior to men.
    Women always have to obey men.
    That is what that verse says.
    If a man cannot manage his woman his last obligation is to beat her up.
    That is why you hear so many imams give sermnons about it is not only ok to beat up women, but also how to do it. And some say all women should be beaten regularly.
    Islam made it also more difficult for women to create wealth. the only way they could get wealth if they inherit it. And Mohammed made rules which gave women much smaller parts in inheritance. His first wife Khadija was wealthy: she had great inherited wealth, and she run a huge trading business. This was before Islam ofcourse.

    Here you find the chronological order.
    You will see the religion got darker as time progressed. The prophet deeds became darker as his strength progressed.
    http://www.wikiislam.com/wiki/Chronological_Order_of_the_Quran

    you will find that all nice bits are the old bits. And the old bits are not valid. because the new bits are the stronger ones. This is why in a Islamic academic discussion the fundamentalists, wahabbis, salafis, always win.

    Religions always start thus: in the beginning they start nice. After they get power they become arrogant and agressive.

    I am not going to tell you what to do with your life. If you want to convert to islam what you should do is read the quran in it’s chronological order. And read the hadith. Then make a decision if you really want to follow this man.


    • I don’t mind an off topic comment ever if there is some reason and use for it.
      sometimes I get people who do more like spam. that is different.

  7. kasia said,

    thank you! I really appreciate your time and effort you put to answer my questions 🙂

    you see everyone says that Islam is a religion of peace and submitting one’s will to Allah. I admire Muslims for having such strong faith, you can’t deny it, they’re very strong in their faith. I think I wanted a little bit of this strength for myself, i don’t know…

    anyways, everywhere I read negative comments, they are always countered with how many rights Islam gave to women and how prophet was a great husband etc etc.
    and when I read the bit I posted, it just made me cringe… and it makes me wonder why any woman would want to do it to herself? to subject herself to something like that? that’s probably a rhetoric question.

    thanks again! you got yourself a new follower 🙂

    have a good day 🙂

  8. MoQ said,

    @kasia,

    Yes,Islam has some beautiful parts as it was a religion of a small group,which had to live in peace with other religions for 13 years. So yes Islam was the religion of peace for a time period. However every thing changed when the prophet got powerful after Hijra (immigration to Madina). Before you decide on conversion, I advise you to look at Islam from a chronological order point of view. You can google Chronological order of Quran and you will get many references. You can also look at Hadith by location. You will notice that Islam changes drastically about 1.5 years after Hijra.The Meccan verses are the ones most people like, but most are not applicable because they were obrogated by later ones in Madina, when Islam became powerful. Here is some of the contrast you will find:

    – In Mecca the prophet had only 1 wife. She died before moving to Madina then he started marrying up to 13 wives and had many slave girls. Yes he was a good husband when his first wife owned the business, which supported his livelihood, but as soon as he can he started having his fill of women.
    – The prophet was accepting of other religions in Mecca. The beautiful verses in Surat Al-Kafroon as an example of early Islam. But as soon as Mohammad started winning battles he changed all of that to intolerance.
    – The prophet was preaching against slavery in Mecca. However as soon as he can capture slaves all of that changed.
    – Treatment of women got worse in Madina. Many of the verses that belittle women’s place in society are from Surah Al-Nisa, which came in Madina. Mohamad was a leader of warriors and women did not matter in that world, except they make good rewards for good warriors.
    – Early Muslims were not peaceful. Actually there is a genocidal stories under the leadership of the prophet. Look up the story of Banu Quraizah, a Jewish tribe, as an example of this. Note even Muslim sources do not deny the killing of about 700 captured men, some as young as 13, all in 1 afternoon. Very peaceful indeed.

    I think you owe yourself a good understanding, since joining Islam is like joining a gang.Once you are in you cannot get out. Muslims also believe that converts out of the religion should be killed.

    Sorry, to be so negative, but I think you should see the negative side to contrast all the feel good stories Muslims keep pushing. Islam is the furthest religion from being titled “the Religion of Peace”. In my opinion teh entire religion started by a warlord that behaved as badly as his contemporaries.

  9. Bob said,

    This story had much more truth 50 years ago. Today its an exageration.
    Stories such as these are promoted by male hating hags.


    • @Bob, the country has not progressed since 50 years ago.
      If anything saudia is is getting worse. |Anybody who knows saudia from the 70’s knows it was a better place then, more freedom, les clergy influencing.
      I don’t see anything improving here, only sliding backwards


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