Save the Women!


Changes in the Quran

Posted in Islam,religion,women by Save the Women! on January 28, 2011

There are proofs that the quran has not been unchanged through the ages.

There are actual qurans which are very different from the quran we know today. Why is this important?
It opens the possibillity of appraising the quran for what it is. A book written 1400 years ago, by much more primitive people than we are. with a much more primitve and barbaric worldview. and that means that we can relate the passages which are now contrary to human rights in their proper time and space. It means that Islam can change. that women can be given human rights.
It means that veiling was never meant for what they use it now.
Using syriac to re-read the quran the advice is to wear a girdle around your hips, not to veil.

The houris are white grapes. That makes the text a lot more logic.
The suicide bombers will get a few chilled of grapes, not willing virgins.
It also fits with early christian images of heaven. And we know there were early christians in Arabia.

The Saudi husband

Posted in relations with Saudi men,Saudi Arabia,women by Save the Women! on January 20, 2011

Some of this was a response to a visitor to my blog. I really think I need to make a post about this. It is a harsh post, and there are exceptions but I really think girls with rosy glasses on need to realize the truth. Be VERY careful when dating a Saudi man.
Unless you really only want fun and have absolutely no view to a future life together.
Then you don’t need to read this.

There is so much wrong in saudi arabia you cannot have an idea until you experience it here.

If a saudi man really cares for you he should understand life in saudi is too bad for women to want to take you there. If you marry a saudi man you should make clear there is no way. no reason, you will ever move there.

Saudi Arabia is a completely disfuncitional society. It is like nothing you can imagine. Marriages between saudi men and western women fail almost 80 % . I will list them for you but before I want you to realise that if you are married and are divorced in saudi arabia your rights, even your rights in your marriage contract will be obsolete. No judge will give a woman rights unless she has huge bribe money or influential saudi family. and your husband can divorce whenever he wants.
no consequenses for him.
for you it means you will be kicked out of the country. you will loose your children (property of the male or the male’s family)
you will not get alimony.
you will not be able to see your children .

so why do saudi/western marriages fail? -as soon as your husband gets off the plane in saudi he is a completely different man. a man you never knew. -he will listen to his family, to his mother and not to you -mother comes first, family comes first, you are bottom of importance. -there is an 98% chance that his mother will not like you. she will scheme against your marriage and as she is more important thatn you she will win. -his family will urge him to take another wife. a real saudi wife. you will be behind her too in importance. your children will be second rate because from a western whore. 90% of Arabs really think all western women are whores. your children will be taught so at school and come home and call you a whore. -Your husband will most probably not stand up for you but he will defend his mother and his family -your husband will become much more fundamental in religion and maybe even insist you wear the niqaab. (insist means force: you have no choice to comply)
you will be expected to convert. Once you have learned about islam you will be expected to see it is the only true religion. If you do not that will be al;l the proof the family needs that you are a evil sinful person.
your children will be trained to be muslim in the most rigid fundamentalist form of Islam.
Their schooling will be substandard. if they are girls it will be worse.

Forget about ”belonging’to the family. You will never belong. you will always be untrusted, the foreign interloper.

life in saudia is really bad for women. you have no rights, you cannot go anywhere, you cannot have medical treatment, you cannot go shopping, you have no say about your children, all these things are decided by your mahram. -life in saudi arabia is segregated. you will never see other men, but because your husband will spend lots of time with his friends and family members you will not see him very often either. you will be alone a lot -You will never be accepted by his family. you will always be the freigner, you will never be trusted. -you wil have NO PROTECTION under the law. -you cannot protect your children. they will get a very bad education and your daughters can be married off as children. this is not for you to protest you have no rights. -many women have tried to become more saudized as the saudis, and it doesn’t matter; they are not saudis and will never be accepted as such -no woman saudi or western, is not hurt and lost trust and love when husband takes a second (or third or fourth) wife. these are some of the reasons while most marriages fail

When compromises have to be made it is YOU who will be making them. If he wants to live in saudi arabia it is YOU who will be leaving friends, family and human rights behind. He will think that much less important than if he were the one to make this sacrifice. Even though for him the risks are minimal and for you they are monumental, life or death.
For this reason alone you should break off the relationship if he insists to live in saudi arabia.

The culture is certainly to blame. The saudi culture is racist in the extreme, xenophobic, misogynist, bigotted in the extreme. People are to blame. many mothers and families have schemed -and schemed successfully- to break up the marriage to a foreign wife. saudi men are soft and weak against their family. they will very rarely go against the family. Saudi children are indoctrinated to always obey the wishes of the family. All the cards are stacked against the western wife.
Now there are exceptions, but they are EXCEPTIONS! and RARE!

The only Saudi man a foreign wife should think of marrying is one without any family, or one who does not care about what his family thinks. -also while with his family in saudi arabia- He should be a free thinker. Not religious, atheist would be best. He should make no trouble about living abroad. he should prefer living abroad with a foreign wife.

In the end foreign women should realise that there is needed government approval for marriage to a saudi man.
These approvals are very rarely given. At the time of writing this there is a real crackdown to stop saudi men from marrying foreign wives.
saudi women are almost never ever allowed to marry foreign men. their husbands will be denied saudi citizenship and their children will not get saudi citizenship either. Only women in the ”exempt category” may get allowance to marry non-saudi men. Those are women over 40 years of age, or disabled. In other words the women Saudi men don’t want.
This also shows you how saudis think about women: they are property and saudi will not part with property unless it is undesirable.

Foreign women should realize that a saudi man has to be at least 35 years of age to start procedures to marry foreign wife, and the process can take many years, 5 or more or never. In all things saudi you make better chance if you are very wealthy and have big wasta. Big bribes and influence will increase you chances. Without riches and influence chance at the moment is virtually nil.

foreign women should realise that saudi men know all this very well. if he hasn’t warned you of this you know he is taking you for a fool or lying to you.

So you should be ok to wait until you are 40 or older. and take the chance that you will never get approval. You should not agree to marry without approval first because then you will never get it. Also if he works and lives in Saudi and you live abroad it will be too easy for him to secretly marry more wives.

I also think that unless you are a salafi muslim, stay at home all day every day, and love restrictions and covering every cm of your sinful skin and being under total control of a man you will hate living in saudi arabia.
Also; if you ever have a problem with your husband you are in deep shit! He has all the rights and all the power. You will find out that you are indeed nothing but a slave.
Saudi Arabia is no fit place for a free woman and no woman should allow a husband to bring her to a place where she will be a slave and will risk all. A man who asks that of you does not love you.

A man who asks you to live in saudi arabia instead of opting to live abroad with you does not love you!

The saudi boyfriend

Posted in Islam,politics,relations with Saudi men,religion,Saudi Arabia,women by Save the Women! on January 19, 2011

So many girls and young women are deeply disappointed when in a relationship with a saudi student or young man.
why is that so?
To tell you the truth, many saudi students just want to fuck girls and then go home to marry a proper saudi (virgin) girl. Virginity really is only put on women. They often have no serious plans but they are clever enough to keep that secret. They may be are swept off their feet as well. But truth is, they are seldom if ever honest about the relationship or future.

Again and again and again and again I get mails or meet or hear from foreign women who have been duped, lied to or abandoned by saudi men. Always saudi men.

So if you want nothing but a bit of fun, and have no plans for a future together whatsoever: yes. Date a saudi man.
if you do want to have a future you should think very carefully and be very strong. You should be ready to give up the relationship if he turns out to be a lost cause.

Things to think of when thinking of dating a saudi man.

* Women in saudi arabia have no rights. basically they are slaves. nothing, no single small decision can be made by a woman herself unless the man who has ownership over her allows it. There are no laws which protect women. Judges will almost always rule in favor of the man unless you have huge bribe money to pay to the judge
(btw you cannot go to court as a woman, the man who owns you has to do it for you)
*Women in saudi arabia are slaves. there is no other way of putting it.
* Saudi students can already be married or engaged. they will not tell you so, nor will their friends or family
* You cannot marry while he is on a scholarship. he will be send home asap if he is discovered
* To travel to saudi arabia as man and wife you will need government approval. you will not be eligeble for approval unless 35 years or older. It takes 5 years minimum, most people never get approval. You will need a lot of money for bribes and ”wasta” influence.
* the way he treats you now will not be the way he treats you when home
* if you have sex with him now he will probably secretly despise you and will not see you as marriage material
* Saudi students are allowed by a fatwa from Bin Baz to marry a foreign woman for pleasure and halal sex. to divorce her when they go home. This does and has happened.
* saudi men have mostly been brought up to consider women as weak and less capable than men. They have probably never talked to girls or women, they do not know how to interact with women. they deep in their heart have been brought up to despise women.
* Most , really most, people in the middle east consider western women to be sluts and whores. I am sorry but that is the truth. They do not cover, they can have sex with men: ergo: they are whores. Middle eastern people will never tell you so to your face but that is how they talk amongst each other.
* he can have secret extra wives, it is quite rare but it has happened to foreign wives as well as saudi wives. nobody will tell you.

All saudi student know they cannot marry while studying abroad. they all know they cannot get permission until 35 and even then probably not.
If they tell you they did not know they are lying to you.
Saudis are very private, keep all their own affairs secret. They are very good liars: the idea is: if you don’t know it doesn’t hurt you so it doesn’t matter.

All saudis are very heavily indoctrinated with a very harsh and unbending interpretation of Islam. They will forget that while abroad but they will remember when back home. Also, the look is more important than the truth in saudi arabia. you can do anything forbidden. If nobody knows it: it does not matter.

So how do you know you are on safe ground?
You will always miss out on a very important safety net: your family is not saudi, is not living in saudi, so you or  they cannot verify if he is speaking the truth or even allready married. Even middle eastern girls and their families have problems finding these things out.

there are some points in favor:

* He will be very protective of you. he will not introduce you to males. He will never show your photo to males. So no males, either family or best friends.
* He will tell his mother aunts and sisters fairly soon and tell them to stop looking for a bride as he has met somebody
* he will ask his mother and sisters to talk to you and meet you
* he will have told you when things became more serious about the impossibillity to marry or get goverment permission
* he is not bedouin, does not come from Riyad or another conservative area
* he will not want you to live in saudi arabia
EVER!
he will be working to be able to live in another country with you
considering the marriage restrictions and impossibillity of government permission this will be the only option anyway
* he will not want to have sex before marriage
* he will stand strong and without compromise against all of his family against all the pressure they can throw at you.
And believe me: they will!

If he fails on these points: cut off relationships!
have respect and love for yourself. Keep yourself safe.

Ask him how his female family members live in saudi arabia. have they traveled abroad? studied abroad? do they have cars and drivers? do they work? This is important because it is an indication if he and his family give women freedoms. Freedoms for women have to be given by men because woman have no rights in saudi arabia. Women are until death always under ownership by a man who is all powerful to make decisions for her.
Ofcourse you will not know for sure if he is truthful to you.

In the end I can only say to be very aware. It is fact that different rules and options apply to a saudi man to any other man you may meet!
The culture and religion in saudi is so extreme, and so unfavorable for women it compares to nothing else. and it makes saudis behave like no other people in some ways.
Of course they are people like everybody else. But the culture and religion -they are one and the same- how they are brought up and taught, make saudi men in the end different from other men.
Before you want to jeopordise your heart and future in the case of a saudi man you will need to be extra careful, keep your distance, and realise there is very little chance of a happy future, much less chance than with men from other cultures and religions.
And that is the real fact.
Don’t have sex with a saudi student unless you see it as a fling only.