Save the Women!

The Saudi husband

Posted in relations with Saudi men,Saudi Arabia,women by Save the Women! on January 20, 2011

Some of this was a response to a visitor to my blog. I really think I need to make a post about this. It is a harsh post, and there are exceptions but I really think girls with rosy glasses on need to realize the truth. Be VERY careful when dating a Saudi man.
Unless you really only want fun and have absolutely no view to a future life together.
Then you don’t need to read this.

There is so much wrong in saudi arabia you cannot have an idea until you experience it here.

If a saudi man really cares for you he should understand life in saudi is too bad for women to want to take you there. If you marry a saudi man you should make clear there is no way. no reason, you will ever move there.

Saudi Arabia is a completely disfuncitional society. It is like nothing you can imagine. Marriages between saudi men and western women fail almost 80 % . I will list them for you but before I want you to realise that if you are married and are divorced in saudi arabia your rights, even your rights in your marriage contract will be obsolete. No judge will give a woman rights unless she has huge bribe money or influential saudi family. and your husband can divorce whenever he wants.
no consequenses for him.
for you it means you will be kicked out of the country. you will loose your children (property of the male or the male’s family)
you will not get alimony.
you will not be able to see your children .

so why do saudi/western marriages fail? -as soon as your husband gets off the plane in saudi he is a completely different man. a man you never knew. -he will listen to his family, to his mother and not to you -mother comes first, family comes first, you are bottom of importance. -there is an 98% chance that his mother will not like you. she will scheme against your marriage and as she is more important thatn you she will win. -his family will urge him to take another wife. a real saudi wife. you will be behind her too in importance. your children will be second rate because from a western whore. 90% of Arabs really think all western women are whores. your children will be taught so at school and come home and call you a whore. -Your husband will most probably not stand up for you but he will defend his mother and his family -your husband will become much more fundamental in religion and maybe even insist you wear the niqaab. (insist means force: you have no choice to comply)
you will be expected to convert. Once you have learned about islam you will be expected to see it is the only true religion. If you do not that will be al;l the proof the family needs that you are a evil sinful person.
your children will be trained to be muslim in the most rigid fundamentalist form of Islam.
Their schooling will be substandard. if they are girls it will be worse.

Forget about ”belonging’to the family. You will never belong. you will always be untrusted, the foreign interloper.

life in saudia is really bad for women. you have no rights, you cannot go anywhere, you cannot have medical treatment, you cannot go shopping, you have no say about your children, all these things are decided by your mahram. -life in saudi arabia is segregated. you will never see other men, but because your husband will spend lots of time with his friends and family members you will not see him very often either. you will be alone a lot -You will never be accepted by his family. you will always be the freigner, you will never be trusted. -you wil have NO PROTECTION under the law. -you cannot protect your children. they will get a very bad education and your daughters can be married off as children. this is not for you to protest you have no rights. -many women have tried to become more saudized as the saudis, and it doesn’t matter; they are not saudis and will never be accepted as such -no woman saudi or western, is not hurt and lost trust and love when husband takes a second (or third or fourth) wife. these are some of the reasons while most marriages fail

When compromises have to be made it is YOU who will be making them. If he wants to live in saudi arabia it is YOU who will be leaving friends, family and human rights behind. He will think that much less important than if he were the one to make this sacrifice. Even though for him the risks are minimal and for you they are monumental, life or death.
For this reason alone you should break off the relationship if he insists to live in saudi arabia.

The culture is certainly to blame. The saudi culture is racist in the extreme, xenophobic, misogynist, bigotted in the extreme. People are to blame. many mothers and families have schemed -and schemed successfully- to break up the marriage to a foreign wife. saudi men are soft and weak against their family. they will very rarely go against the family. Saudi children are indoctrinated to always obey the wishes of the family. All the cards are stacked against the western wife.
Now there are exceptions, but they are EXCEPTIONS! and RARE!

The only Saudi man a foreign wife should think of marrying is one without any family, or one who does not care about what his family thinks. -also while with his family in saudi arabia- He should be a free thinker. Not religious, atheist would be best. He should make no trouble about living abroad. he should prefer living abroad with a foreign wife.

In the end foreign women should realise that there is needed government approval for marriage to a saudi man.
These approvals are very rarely given. At the time of writing this there is a real crackdown to stop saudi men from marrying foreign wives.
saudi women are almost never ever allowed to marry foreign men. their husbands will be denied saudi citizenship and their children will not get saudi citizenship either. Only women in the ”exempt category” may get allowance to marry non-saudi men. Those are women over 40 years of age, or disabled. In other words the women Saudi men don’t want.
This also shows you how saudis think about women: they are property and saudi will not part with property unless it is undesirable.

Foreign women should realize that a saudi man has to be at least 35 years of age to start procedures to marry foreign wife, and the process can take many years, 5 or more or never. In all things saudi you make better chance if you are very wealthy and have big wasta. Big bribes and influence will increase you chances. Without riches and influence chance at the moment is virtually nil.

foreign women should realise that saudi men know all this very well. if he hasn’t warned you of this you know he is taking you for a fool or lying to you.

So you should be ok to wait until you are 40 or older. and take the chance that you will never get approval. You should not agree to marry without approval first because then you will never get it. Also if he works and lives in Saudi and you live abroad it will be too easy for him to secretly marry more wives.

I also think that unless you are a salafi muslim, stay at home all day every day, and love restrictions and covering every cm of your sinful skin and being under total control of a man you will hate living in saudi arabia.
Also; if you ever have a problem with your husband you are in deep shit! He has all the rights and all the power. You will find out that you are indeed nothing but a slave.
Saudi Arabia is no fit place for a free woman and no woman should allow a husband to bring her to a place where she will be a slave and will risk all. A man who asks that of you does not love you.

A man who asks you to live in saudi arabia instead of opting to live abroad with you does not love you!


10 Responses to 'The Saudi husband'

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  1. POPPY said,

    Every single word that you wrote is 100% true. I know because I have been there and experienced it all and am still paying the price.

    • I am so sorry for you.
      But I am pleased you share your view here. It is important that people from other countries understand that these factsare fact
      outragious as they are, are still simply the truth.

    • NATALIA said,

      Poppy, can you please share some experiences? I am heading into a saudi marriage and would love to know what I am getting myself into. Also did you convert to Islam?

      • IWithout a lot of money and wasta (influence) chances of getting pernission to marry are very very small. At the minimum you must expect to wait several years, 5 or more, before permission is achieved. if you marry befor permission it is very unlikely you will ever get it.

        While converting did make it easier in the past, I don’t know if that is still the case as they are very unlikely to give permission at all. The family will never beleive you to be a true muslim anyway. Even if you were muslim for years before marriage they will never accept you as a real muslim, or as a full member of the family.
        You will always be the stranger. Most families are opposed to having their son marry a foreigner and will make your life a very bad on in saudi Arabia.

        If you are not Muslim they will expect you to ‘see the light” fairly soon after you arrive in saudi arabia. if you don’t it will be conformation of what an evil person you are. If you do you will still not be trusted.

  2. NATALIA said,

    OMG thank you!!! im engaged to a saudi and was thinking about being with him in ksa but im a western girl and now no way in hell. u have saved me!!!

    • If he really loves you he will ahve no problems living with you in another country. In any case I suggest you wait a few years with having children.

    • NATALIA said,

      thanks we have talked about living arrangements and he doesn’t want to live in KSA or even bring kids up there. We will be moving to Dubai soon and once we have kids will be moving to Australia. Thank you for your guidance. Any more tips or advise?

      • Never go back on the deal. Never agree to m ove from Dubai to Saudi Arabia. ”Temporarly” is never that. I ahve had too many firends who came here for two or three years. Only so the husband could have a bit of time with his family. or so the children can learn the culture.
        Ten years later they are still here and it’s for ever.
        Once in Saudi Arabia you have no rights!

        Never let him go back on his promises. if he doesn’t want to go back to Australia when the children havecome you should go alone., Let him come after you or not. If he doesn’t then you know the extend of his love and his honesty.

  3. GADA said,

    OOOOOOOOOO , I feel I was watching a horror movie
    Stop Iying please ,, be frank and say i heat saudis but donot say something never real ,,
    you donot know anything about saudis and that clear from what you have write

    as a saudi girl I know my country and culture more than any one of you
    we covers our bodies for us not for men
    we prevent them for not looking to us
    we can go shopping and make lots of activities and westerner women in saudi arabia surely can do ,, so from where we get our clothes & food not say the market for men only !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    our reliegion ISLAM saves us and gives us our rights

    in short , we are like any country have mistakes and wrongs
    but not as big issues you have invented ,,
    do not marry saudis but donot say something not real and could not be believe in ,,,


    • Gada, as a Saudi girl you have been indoctrinaed from birth that you want to cover for yourself. You ahve been brainwashed. In fact all this abaya and niqab stuff is quite new, only 30/40 years ago it was rare in most parts of saudi to see women so covered. Traditional clothes of saudi women are embrouidered dresses, very colorful. Men and women worked together. Saudi was a better country before all the money came in. The black abaya was forced on the saudi people. The hijaz and western province had all kinds of dress and cloacs, all beautiful, and many groups of saudi women never covered their face.
      Your culture, your heritage has been taken away from you. (unless your from the Nejd) And instead they implanted lies into you mind. Go and ask old people how is was in earlier times.

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